The Cigar Jones Bloghouse

Who knew. Somebody posted a comment about Kelly's "twins" and Paul M. replied that our attention to said "milk wagons" was one reason why cigar smokers are going to get screwed in this upcoming legislation.

Thankfully, the last piece of legislation I saw exempted cigar shops...but you don't throw a frog in boiling water...you turn the heat up slowly...and the heat is on.

Anyway, back to the subject of "Thelma & Louise". For those of you that know Kelly, she's pretty proud of her "puff puffs". She walks into the store and you'd swear it was a dead heat in a Zeppelin race.

Call them what you will..."bath toys", "gravity magnets", "McFlopities", "ham curtains", "bio-domes", "atom smashers" or "the brown-nosed sweater puppies"...we at Cigar Jones are proud to call them "ours".

They're at it again. For months now we've been told that smokeshops would be exempt from the smoking ban being shoved down the throat of us Minnesotans. Think again. As it's currently worded, the exemption would only apply to sampling cigars prior to purchase.

Hmmm?

Perhaps we should extend this rather novel idea to other activities that society frowns upon. Like prostitution.

OK. I guess it does take a certain amount of skill to play cribbage well. After getting my ass handed to me by Paul, I have to admit he's pretty good at it. Unfortunately for him (and Heather), he's not so good at other things.

Whew! Just when you thought the Minnesota Lynx were going to sleepwalk through another offseason...they finally make a move. For those of you that missed it on page C23 of the sports section, the Lynx dealt GLBT fan-favorite Tangela Smith to Phoenix for the Playtex Ultra Slim "Player of the Year", Lindsey Harding of Duke. In the first 24 hours after the announcement, Lynx ticket sales manager Dave McElwee said the team has sold 12 season tickets.

"Lindsey's strong upper body and thick ankles make her a real threat on the defensive end," remarked coach Don Zierden. Harding is expected to step in and start immediately for the perennially woeful Lynx.

I'm supposed to be working on show prep for tonights edition of The Cigar Jones Radio Hour. Unfortunately, I became distracted and hopped on to youtube.com. I found a couple cool mash-ups for your viewing (and listening pleasure). First up is Green Day vs. Oasis. Also, this one featuring Britney vs. Linkin Park. Finally, a really strange one that works surprisingly well...Christina Milian vs. Jimi Hendrix.

What would we do without the Internet?

Probably cure cancer.

Looks like Pauly's up to his old tricks again. First, Slick Rick donates his folding poker table to the store.

Less than a week later...Paul claims the "leg just broke". Yep, after nearly twenty years of constant use and being hauled to every poker party Rick ever attended...the leg just gave out...and it wasn't even being used at the time! Must have been the gale-force winds created by the ceiling fan that did it.

Next up...table lighters #1 AND #2. Again, no better story than "they just broke". Are you sensing a pattern here?

Well, we finally replaced the broken down poker table with a nice wooden foldup version...complete with matching wooden folding chairs. Chepokas arrived as we were setting it up and the chairs passed the "Biscuits Test". We were in business...and feeling mighty good about ourselves.

Then came yesterday.

Mike got a call from Paul. Guess what? Bad news on the folding chair front. Paul sat down and "it just broke". Yep, the chairs that withstood the two live hogs living in Steves pants...crumbled beneath the massive girth of Pauly. In his defense, another customer has come forward to claim responsibility.

Sorry for doubting you, Buddy.

OK...so it's been a while. The whole "Cigar Jones Facebook" thing has stolen the time I would have normally devoted to the blog. It probably cost me a shot at the BBDO Creative Director gig that Wes all but promised me (not that he remembers). Anyway, trolling Facebook and feeling slightly uneasy about today's youth has been interesting to say the least. Lots of pictures of underage kids drinking. Hopefully, when I'm old and infirm and they're changing my bed pan...they'll remember I'm the guy that didn't "rat them out". Maybe it will keep them from spitting in my creamed corn (again).

In store news, we installed the long-awaited Disco Ball. Chuck was thrilled. Almost as thrilled as the day Cheese figured out how to hook a microphone into the sound system here. It became irritating within moments.

Princess K is still The Doghouse Points Leader. I can't wait until she makes an appointment with The Redemption Director.