Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Stuart's Back!
For the past week the burning question has been, "Where's Stuart?". Our very own 3D advertisement for Wi-Fi hadn't been in for a while. He finally showed up yesterday and explained he had been ill. Whew! Can't afford to lose any customers...let alone one whose ass crack is permanently fused into the cushion in the corner chair. Glad you're back, Stuart.
# posted by Cigar Jones @ 5:50 AM 
Comments:
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And why wouldnt he come back?
On a recent visit to Cigar Jones:
-I got my balls busted for smoing a stick that I didn't buy there.
-took a bad beat at the poker table
-endured a weak tit, limp wrist cocktail prepared by owner Todd
-got him with a hat and table after Pauly took a bad beat at the poker table
-survived rap-crap music coming from both the stereo and white owner Mike
-took another bad beat at the poker table on my re-buy......"all day long"
-and finally settled into a chair to finish my smoke and found the chair was broken
Another day at the areas finest smoke shoppe. I cant wait to get back tomorrow. See ya at Cigar H'ones
Harry P. Ness Esq.
On a recent visit to Cigar Jones:
-I got my balls busted for smoing a stick that I didn't buy there.
-took a bad beat at the poker table
-endured a weak tit, limp wrist cocktail prepared by owner Todd
-got him with a hat and table after Pauly took a bad beat at the poker table
-survived rap-crap music coming from both the stereo and white owner Mike
-took another bad beat at the poker table on my re-buy......"all day long"
-and finally settled into a chair to finish my smoke and found the chair was broken
Another day at the areas finest smoke shoppe. I cant wait to get back tomorrow. See ya at Cigar H'ones
Harry P. Ness Esq.
# posted by 
: 8:04 AM
: 8:04 AM
This was written by Ted Nugent. The Rock Singer and Hunter /Naturalist, upon hearing that California Senator B. Boxer and D. Feinstein denounced him for being a “gun owner” and a “Rock Star.” This was his response after telling the senators about his past contributions to children’s charities and scholarship foundations totaling more than $13.7 million in the last 5 years.
>I like being the ‘Bad American” this pretty much sums it up for me. I like Big trucks, Big boats, Big houses and naturally, pretty women
>I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid-level governmental functionary with a bad comb over who wants to give it away to crack addict squirting out babies.
>I don’t care about appearing compassionate.
>I think playing with toy guns doesn’t make you a killer. I believe ignoring your kids and giving them Prozac might.
>I think I’m doing better than the homeless
>I don’t think being a minority makes you noble or victimized. I have the right not to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or make me mad. This is my life to live, and not necessarily up to others expectations.
> I know what SEX is and there are not varying degrees of it (Bill and Jesse).
>I don’t celebrate Kwanzaa. But if you want to that’s fine: I just don’t feel like everyone else should have to.
>I believe that if you are selling me a Dairy Queen shake, pack of cigarettes, or a hotel room, DO IT IN ENGLISH. As a matter of fact, if you are an American citizen, you should speak English. My uncles and forefathers shouldn’t have had to die in vain so you could leave the countries you were born in to come disrespect ours, and make us bend to your will. Get over it.
>I think cops have every right to shoot your sorry butt if your running from them after they tell you to stop, If you can’t understand the words ‘freeze’ or ‘stop’ in English see the previous line.
>I don’t use the excuse” it’s for the children” as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions.
>I know how to count votes and I feel much safer letting a machine with no political affiliation do a recount when needed.
>I know what the definition of lying is, and it is not based on the word “is”....ever.
>I don’t think just because you were not born in this country, you qualify for any special loan programs. Government sponsored bank loans, Etc. so you can open a hotel, 7-Eleven, trinket shop, or anything else, while some of our own citizens who happen to be indigenous peoples cant get past a high school education because they can’t afford it.
>I didn’t take the initiative in inventing the internet.
>I thought the Taco Bell dog was funny.
>I want to bring back safe and sane fireworks.
>I believer no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice -T, or Marilyn Manson sang. But that doesn’t mean I want to listen to that crap from someone else’s car when I stopped at a red light. But I respect your right to.
>I think that being a student doesn’t give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster or Jack in the Box. I also think until your old enough to vote and are registered to vote and do vote, you should have no rights.
>I don’t want to eat or drink anything with words like light, lite or fat-free on the package.
>Our soldiers did not go to some foreign country and risk their lives in vain and defend our Constitution so that decades later you can tell me it’s a living document ever changing and open to interpretation. The guys who wrote it were light years ahead of anyone today, and they meant what they said- now leave the document alone or there’s going to be trouble.
>I don’t hate the rich. I help the poor. I know Wrestling is fake. I’ve never owned or was a slave, and a large percentage of our forefathers weren’t wealthy enough to own one either. Most of them worked like slaves to build this country. Please stop blaming me because some prior white people were idiots. And remember, Tons of White, Indians, Chinese, and other races have been enslaved too- it was wrong for every one of them.
>I believe a self-righteous bleeding heart liberal democrat with a cause is more dangerous than a Hell’s Angel with an attitude.
>I want to know exactly in which church the “Reverend Jesse Jackson” preaches. And, what exactly is his job function. Oh and Jesse you can be African or American not both......your Black......deal with it!
> I own a gun; you can own a gun, and any red blooded American should be allowed to own a gun. But if you use it in a crime you will serve all the time.
>I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it makes you mad, then invent the next operating system that’s better and put your name on the building, Ask your buddy that invented the internet to help you.
>I don’t believe in crime legislation. Even suggesting it makes me mad.
>You’re telling me that someone who is a minority, gay, disabled, another nationality, or otherwise different from the mainstream of this country has more value as a human being than I do as a white male. If someone kills anyone, I’d say it’s a hate crime. We don’t need more laws! Let’s enforce the ones we already have.
>I think turkey bacon, turkey beef, and turkey fake anything sucks. I believe that it doesn’t take a village to raise a child. It takes a parent with the guts to stand up to the kid and spank his butt and say “no” when it’s necessary to do so.
>I’ll admit the only movie that ever made me cry was Ole Yeller.
>I didn’t realize the Dr Suess was a genius until I had a kid
> I will not be frowned upon or be looked down upon or be made to keep silent because I have beliefs and opinions. I thought this country allowed me that right.
>I will not conform or compromise just to keep from hurting somebody’s feelings.
>I am neither angry or disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.
>Yes, I guess by some people’s definition I may be a bad American.
But that’s tough shit. Go take your “politically correct” ass elsewhere if you don’t like it.
Posted By: Mike Oxbig
>I like being the ‘Bad American” this pretty much sums it up for me. I like Big trucks, Big boats, Big houses and naturally, pretty women
>I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some mid-level governmental functionary with a bad comb over who wants to give it away to crack addict squirting out babies.
>I don’t care about appearing compassionate.
>I think playing with toy guns doesn’t make you a killer. I believe ignoring your kids and giving them Prozac might.
>I think I’m doing better than the homeless
>I don’t think being a minority makes you noble or victimized. I have the right not to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or make me mad. This is my life to live, and not necessarily up to others expectations.
> I know what SEX is and there are not varying degrees of it (Bill and Jesse).
>I don’t celebrate Kwanzaa. But if you want to that’s fine: I just don’t feel like everyone else should have to.
>I believe that if you are selling me a Dairy Queen shake, pack of cigarettes, or a hotel room, DO IT IN ENGLISH. As a matter of fact, if you are an American citizen, you should speak English. My uncles and forefathers shouldn’t have had to die in vain so you could leave the countries you were born in to come disrespect ours, and make us bend to your will. Get over it.
>I think cops have every right to shoot your sorry butt if your running from them after they tell you to stop, If you can’t understand the words ‘freeze’ or ‘stop’ in English see the previous line.
>I don’t use the excuse” it’s for the children” as a shield for unpopular opinions or actions.
>I know how to count votes and I feel much safer letting a machine with no political affiliation do a recount when needed.
>I know what the definition of lying is, and it is not based on the word “is”....ever.
>I don’t think just because you were not born in this country, you qualify for any special loan programs. Government sponsored bank loans, Etc. so you can open a hotel, 7-Eleven, trinket shop, or anything else, while some of our own citizens who happen to be indigenous peoples cant get past a high school education because they can’t afford it.
>I didn’t take the initiative in inventing the internet.
>I thought the Taco Bell dog was funny.
>I want to bring back safe and sane fireworks.
>I believer no one ever died because of something Ozzy Osbourne, Ice -T, or Marilyn Manson sang. But that doesn’t mean I want to listen to that crap from someone else’s car when I stopped at a red light. But I respect your right to.
>I think that being a student doesn’t give you any more enlightenment than working at Blockbuster or Jack in the Box. I also think until your old enough to vote and are registered to vote and do vote, you should have no rights.
>I don’t want to eat or drink anything with words like light, lite or fat-free on the package.
>Our soldiers did not go to some foreign country and risk their lives in vain and defend our Constitution so that decades later you can tell me it’s a living document ever changing and open to interpretation. The guys who wrote it were light years ahead of anyone today, and they meant what they said- now leave the document alone or there’s going to be trouble.
>I don’t hate the rich. I help the poor. I know Wrestling is fake. I’ve never owned or was a slave, and a large percentage of our forefathers weren’t wealthy enough to own one either. Most of them worked like slaves to build this country. Please stop blaming me because some prior white people were idiots. And remember, Tons of White, Indians, Chinese, and other races have been enslaved too- it was wrong for every one of them.
>I believe a self-righteous bleeding heart liberal democrat with a cause is more dangerous than a Hell’s Angel with an attitude.
>I want to know exactly in which church the “Reverend Jesse Jackson” preaches. And, what exactly is his job function. Oh and Jesse you can be African or American not both......your Black......deal with it!
> I own a gun; you can own a gun, and any red blooded American should be allowed to own a gun. But if you use it in a crime you will serve all the time.
>I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it makes you mad, then invent the next operating system that’s better and put your name on the building, Ask your buddy that invented the internet to help you.
>I don’t believe in crime legislation. Even suggesting it makes me mad.
>You’re telling me that someone who is a minority, gay, disabled, another nationality, or otherwise different from the mainstream of this country has more value as a human being than I do as a white male. If someone kills anyone, I’d say it’s a hate crime. We don’t need more laws! Let’s enforce the ones we already have.
>I think turkey bacon, turkey beef, and turkey fake anything sucks. I believe that it doesn’t take a village to raise a child. It takes a parent with the guts to stand up to the kid and spank his butt and say “no” when it’s necessary to do so.
>I’ll admit the only movie that ever made me cry was Ole Yeller.
>I didn’t realize the Dr Suess was a genius until I had a kid
> I will not be frowned upon or be looked down upon or be made to keep silent because I have beliefs and opinions. I thought this country allowed me that right.
>I will not conform or compromise just to keep from hurting somebody’s feelings.
>I am neither angry or disenfranchised, no matter how desperately the mainstream media would like the world to believe otherwise.
>Yes, I guess by some people’s definition I may be a bad American.
But that’s tough shit. Go take your “politically correct” ass elsewhere if you don’t like it.
Posted By: Mike Oxbig
# posted by : 9:34 AM
: 9:34 AM
you know whats sweet when HOMOSEXUAL people write on this blog!!! we dont need a long story about why your dad hates you! I love chuck he would not write something as lame as a bible verse on a blog! Golf sucks but not as much as long blogs and homosexual soccer!
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# posted by : 2:13 PM
: 2:13 PM << Home
